Relay For Life - Greer

Today we had our monthly appointment to see Dr. Christman, Allison's medical oncologist ("chemo doctor"). Blood work looked great with the tiny exception of low vitamin D. Uhhh, if that's the only negative we'll gladly take it! We talked more about her ongoing medical therapy and it was decided that she would continue with the Tamoxifen for the next few months. She told Allison everything looked good so we don't have to see her for 3 months! It's going to be a fantastic summer!!

I've always support the American Cancer Society's Relay For Life. I've always given to people raising money by selling cakes, burgers, etc. I've never actually raised money myself, never had the desire I guess. Well, this year Relay has taken on a whole new meaning for the Walker's. Zach's school is supporting Relay and Rhonda asked if they could sponsor Allison. How humbling. I've been raising money individually for D.R. Hill Middle School's Relay fund. My goal was initially $250. God has "shown off" and as of today I've raised $770! We are so blessed to be loved as much as we are. May we never forget nor take for granted the love in our lives.

D.R. Hill's Relay event will be in Spartanburg on May 20 (our 22nd wedding anniversary). I'm looking forward to it but tonight was Greer's event and Allison's mom has been a part of that for many years. She's a skin cancer survivor. We arrived just in time to hear the announcer say "Are you ready for some bluegrass music?"....NO!! I give Allison "the look" as if to say "let's make this short and go back home". I truly wasn't in the mood for all this. But God wanted to show me something...

At 7:00pm the opening ceremonies were about to begin, the survivors and their care givers (me!) were to meet on the track and walk the "Survivor Lap" together. However, the ominous cloud that had been overhead for the last 30 minutes had other plans. Within minutes a storm erupted. 15 minutes later clothes were soaked, chairs were soaked, food was soaked. "Allison, let's go home"...no, God wanted to show me something...

At 9:00pm they had dried off the equipment enough to begin the opening ceremonies again. So, we proceeded down to the track for the second time. A beautiful prayer was said, the National Anthem was sung, there was a sense of quiet and peace that I can't explain. The announcement was made to begin and the ribbon was cut allowing us to begin our walk. As we walked, an amazing thing happened...complete strangers began to applaud the survivors and caregivers. They gathered all the way around the track as we walked cheering us along every step of the way. It was at that moment that I knew why God had me stick around. This was extremely humbling, why would they be cheering for me, I'm just walking the journey God wants me to walk. Millions of others are going through the same journey. What's the big deal?

Oh, its a big deal alright. We ARE survivors, by the Grace of God.

Almost Done...

Radiation treatments 1-24 were pretty much uneventful for Allison. She would stop in right after work, the treatment would last 10-15 minutes and she would be on her way. Not much in the way of side effects. This past week has been different. The redness has gotten a lot worse, pain accompanies the redness and energy level in the afternoons has dropped drastically. Still a “breeze” compared to the chemo but still a rough road. Today should have been #28 so only 5 more…she “graduates” radiation on May 19th, one day prior to our 22nd wedding anniversary and one day prior to the Spartanburg Relay For Life event. How fitting.

Cards and “how’s Allison?” comments have dwindled down a little but praise the Lord not much. We’re so blessed to have the support network around us that we have. Without our Lord (who has carried us all the way) and our friends and family (who have lifted so many faithful prayers) I don’t think we could have survived. No, I KNOW we couldn’t have survived. We’re blessed.

Tomorrow we meet back with Dr. Christman. It’s been a month since we’ve seen here and this will be our monthly routine for a while as they monitor her blood and her progress. I’m not really sure what, if anything, will be done after she graduates radiation but maybe we’ll find out more tomorrow.

Praise the Lord also, her hair is growing back! It feels soft like our babies when they were first born. I feel a strong urge to rub baby lotion on her head, but think better of it! She’s so strong, it seems like yesterday we were shaving her head in the bathroom while the snow kept us locked inside. But at the same time it feels like forever since last September when we began this journey. It’s certainly been a rough, challenging year. Tears of sadness, tears of frustration, tears of anger, tears of anxiety, now tears of happiness.

Only 32 More...

After a relaxing week at the beach (we'll never be able to thank you enough Tammy) it was time to begin what we hope is the final step in this journey….radiation. Allison’s mom took her to get “tattoo'd” yesterday. Honestly, I was a little excited and was hoping for some sort of flaming heart or a little Gamecock….didn’t realize it was just a Sharpie and that they would just draw random lines on her. “Well dang, that’s not as sexy as I was thinking it would be!” I don’t think she liked that comment, but my 10 year old sense of humor couldn’t help but giggle.

She was originally scheduled to begin 33 radiation treatments on Wednesday, but after the tattoo she was told they wanted to go ahead and start today. It kind of took her off guard so I don’t think she was completely prepared mentally to begin but she obviously agreed. The sooner she starts the sooner it’ll be over, right?

Last night we had a terrible storm, our little indoor yappy dogs get a little excited when it begins to thunder…I’m waiting for Jordie's heart to explode any minute at the rate he’s breathing! Allison ends up on the couch with 2 dogs and I end up in the bed with one (doesn't seem fair, but that’s the way it worked out). Needless to say she didn't sleep well. That may have contributed to the emotion of the moment after today’s first treatment. She couldn't control her emotions and tears began to flow. This was something new and she’s not used to it yet, she’ll be fine after a few treatments. Seriously?? Do you actually get used to lying vulnerable on medical equipment while radiation is directed into your body? I hurt for her just thinking about her lying there and me not being able to help her. I just keep thinking 32 more, 32 more….tomorrow I’ll say 31 more, 31 more…

That's kind of how we've dealt with this entire journey…"Father, get us through today". Tomorrow we'll say "Father, get us through today". If you do that enough times, with the right attitude (thankful) and the amount of faith we've been able to muster, you end up waking one morning and saying "Wow, 6 months have gone by and look how far the Lord has carried us"!

No way, no how would we have been able to travel this journey in our own power. I can't comprehend the amount of pain, confusion and lack of peace someone would have to endure if they didn't have a relationship with their Creator the way we do. It blows my mind to even consider. I sure am glad I don’t have to worry about that…Father, get us through today!

Steps

Its been over 3 weeks since Allison “graduated” and since I’ve posted any updates. I’m not sure why I haven’t posted. Utter exhaustion? Laziness? Depression? I’m not sure, I have always felt “prompted” to post updates, but for some reason I guess I needed to take some time away. Strange but that’s how I’ve felt.

The first 10 days or so following her graduation treatment were pretty rough…extreme weakness, nausea, stomach cramps, bone pain. Then on Friday, March 11, she had a good day, followed by another on Saturday, Sunday and all the next week! Praise our wonderful Lord for days like these! I have promised myself that I wouldn’t take “good” days for granted ever again. He promised He would provide, He promised He would carry us and He has never failed to follow through on those promises.

She’s still got the bone pain in her legs and chest and some swelling in her legs and arms. Dr. Christman sent us to have an ultrasound done on her legs to rule out blood clots (that’s another side effect of chemo). We held our breath, said a prayer and (again) praised God that there wasn’t any blood clots. Hopefully this pain will diminish over time. That’s bothering her more than anything right now.

On Tuesday we visited Dr. Zurenko, her radiation oncologist. He came in, spoke to us for 10 minutes, then scheduled her first appointment for April 4 to be “marked”. On Wednesday, April 6, she will begin the first of her 33 radiation treatments. Every day for 6 and a half weeks. If everything goes as planned I’m calculating her radiation “graduation day” will be Friday, May 13 (yes, Friday the 13th!).

Steps…this trial has been a journey of “steps”. “I found something”…let’s get a biopsy. “I’m sorry to tell you this but…” … dear God, what do we do now? “You need surgery”… “We didn’t get it all”…surgery #2, “…and that’s why I’m recommending chemo”. “When will my hair start falling out?”, “let’s just shave it”, graduation day! Now we take the next step, one in which we’re being told should be easier than some of the previous steps. We’re clinging to that hope.

Blessings upon blessings keep coming…last Wednesday after another amazing choir rehearsal, Tammy comes up and asks how Allison’s week had gone. I told her it had gone really well and that we think she may be rounding the corner to a better health. “I bet you guys would really like to get out of town, huh?”... “Tammy, you don’t know how much I’d like to get away for just a few days.” … “Well that’s why I’m here, I’d like you and Allison and the family to stay in our beach house for Spring Break.” I could hardly contain the tears of overwhelming joy that I felt. When I got home I told Allison….more tears. Yes, tears of happiness but also tears of a humbling realization that we are truly loved and that people are continuing to be blessed through our circumstances. God WILL bring glory to Himself and he WILL do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine. Believe it… oh how He does indeed enjoy “showing off”!

Graduation Day!!!

"Pomp and Circumstance" did not play...caps and gowns weren't handed out, but we graduated anyway. Praise the Lord we graduated!! Today was Allison final chemo treatment!

Our graduation day started like any other Tuesday, getting up early, waking the kids for school, eating breakfast...the usual. But this was not just any other Tuesday and we could feel the smiles crossing our faces as we went about our routines. We said our morning "pre-doctor visit prayer" and headed out knowing that (God willing) we wouldn't have to make this journey ever again. We were running a little behind so when we came to a complete stop on the interstate (twice) I semi-panicked. NOOO! We can't be late for "graduation day"! But the Lord "shows off" like he always does, we arrived for our 8:45 appointment at 8:44. Score!

Today the chemo room was emptier than normal. What? Does not everyone want to celebrate with us today? No, as I look around the room, others, looking much sicker than Allison, are going through their own trial right now. I quietly pray for each one, not knowing their particular situation but knowing full well the anxiety and fear that each is going through. I only hope they know the Source of Peace that carried us when we were afraid to move.

Jennifer, our angel that provided Allison's care throughout each of the treatments, quietly celebrates with us. She feels like a friend of the family...no, she is a friend of the family and we'll never forget her comforting words. She truly cares about the people in this room. Father, thank you for calling people like Jennifer into this profession and ministry.

After chemo we meet Allison's mom for lunch and (I shouldn't have asked what she wanted to do) hit the shoe store. The last time we were are this particular store, I made her put on the "stripper shoes" so I could take a picture. Little did we know back then what difficulties would lie ahead of us. The Lord protects us from things like that. He provides "just in time" Grace.

When we arrive home we see pink balloons on the front porch and a card in the mailbox, we can't control the tears that fill our eyes...Katie, you're such a blessing to me and my family. Thank you for your comforting words, faithful prayers and for being such an inspiration. We love you more than you'll ever know. Not long after we arrive home, Lisa shows up with supper from Ashley's kitchen...we are so blessed!

We don't know what is next. Allison goes back in one week, next Tuesday, for lab work. We expect her blood count to be low since she's not having the Neulasta shot (not having the shot...another blessing). This is scary since there's still so much sickness going around. If its too low they'll start her on antibiotics as a precaution. But beyond the lab work we don't have any details. We know she'll probably start radiation in 3-6 weeks. They say after 2 surgeries and 12 weeks of chemo that radiation is a breeze. Blow breeze blow...

G-Day Minus 2

Today I sat on our deck in shorts, not something you generally do in February. It was 75 degrees and felt more like mid-Spring. I do this a lot in the summer, sometimes I read, sometimes I listen to music, other times I listen to God. Today I reflected...the last time I did this was last summer...I had no idea that just a few short months later Allison would be diagnosed with this terrible disease. As I watched the power of the wind blow the treetops it hit me that this same "power" is both healing Allison and also using this "opportunity" to draw others closer together and closer to Himself. Praise the Lord.

His power is limitless, we often imagine God as having human limits. I guess it makes us feel better to think we have God "figured out". But His Word tells us that He is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine. I never imagined my bride would be asleep on the couch not from wanting to enjoy a Sunday afternoon nap but from weeks of medications that has left her weak and unable to enjoy this Spring-like day with me. But even through this God is glorified. We can face any trial because He equips us to travel the road He chooses for us.

She had 2 pretty rough weeks after the last treatment but this past week has been filled with mostly good days. We don't take those for granted like we used to.

G-Day, "Graduation Day" is 2 days away. We know the next couple of weeks will not be easy. The previous 20 weeks haven't been easy either but SuperWoman made it through those just fine. The proverbial light is at the end of the tunnel and we can see the finish line. Today, the weather was incredible but Tuesday the Weatherman is calling for rays of Hope and continued Grace. Pretty corny, I know...but I'm so happy to be ending this part of the journey and entering into the next chapter.

Father, you're such a powerful and awesome God. You, who painted the zebra's stripes and gave tune to the birds also provide healing for the sick. The love of my life is sick and needs Your continued touch. I thank You in advance for your faithfulness, we love you, please carry us this week. In Jesus' name...

Overwhelmed (Part 2)

Just about the time I begin to think this trial has gone on too long for anyone else to remember, I’m overwhelmingly reminded that no one has forgotten about us. The day started with Cheryl dropping by my office to ask how Allison is doing. No one says “how’s your wife”, it’s always “how’s Allison”. These are people who have never met her, but everyone wants to know how “Allison” is doing. Before she left, she asked if she could pray for us, so right there in my office we prayed. As the day goes on 5 others stop by my office…. “How’s Allison”? Wow. And then right before I wrapped up the day’s activities and went home Jack dropped by. Jack is another brother in Christ who loves our Lord. “I just wanted to stop by and see you… how’s Allison?” We talked…he encouraged me, he said I encouraged him. Before he left, he asked if he could pray for us. Thank God for friends that love Jesus, huh? So, my work day started and ended with prayer. God is amazing, right when we need it, He provides His Grace and Comfort.

Allison is having a hard week this week. I guess the chemo is building on itself and its harder for her to get past the side effects. After the previous 2 treatments, she was able to work a full week. She has struggled to get through just 2 days this week. I feel so helpless and want to take all of this away from her. I want to give her that magic pill that will make her feel better.

As Jack and I talked today I realized that it has been almost 5 months since we found out about the BC. Again, amazing how God provides His Grace. If we had seen the road ahead of us back in September I’m not sure either of us would have made it. But today, looking back, I realized how far we had come and how many lives have been affected by our trial. People keep telling me they see Christ in us in the way we’ve handled this crisis. I’m so humbled, I don’t see it, but if God is getting the Glory then praise the Lord, that’s all that really matters right?

Father, this week has been a tough week, but you are made strong in our weakness. Father our weakness is very apparent right now and we call on you to “Show Off”… Help Allison get through “today” and then tomorrow we’ll ask the same thing…get her through “today”. Jehovah Rapha, you are the God who Heals and I praise you for the healing You’ve done and for the healing You’ll continue to do. I pray, expecting amazing things and I pray all this in Christ’ name…