Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Overwhelmed

I just don’t get it….I don’t get how God can use this trial, OUR trial to affect others for His Glory. But then I don’t get how airplanes fly or ships float either. Heck, I don’t even understand how Post-it Notes can stick just enough to each other that they don’t all rip out in your hand when you pull one off! I’m pretty simple minded, just ask anyone who knows me! :) OK, its our trial, mine and Allison’s…but shouldn't other people just be going about their own lives? Don’t my family and friends have troubles and trials of their own that they need to focus on right now? Apparently not because everywhere I turn, everyone I talk to is asking “How’s Allison today?”… I’m so completely overwhelmed at everyone’s concern…tears come much more frequently now, but not in a sad way, in a totally humbled “I can’t believe you care so much” way.

Comment after comment about how OUR trial is bringing them to a closer relationship to Christ, how OUR trial has been an encouragement to their lives and how OUR trial has been an inspiration to them. I don't get it. But I praise the Lord for it. Maybe we're too close to the situation to see how strongly its affecting others around us. All I know is somehow God is using this trial to bring glory to Himself, funny thing is, I knew He would!

I told my brother in Christ, James, today that I actually feel a little guilty because it doesn’t really feel like things are all that bad. We’re going to get through this and be able to look back one day saying “wow, look what God carried us through!”…what a testimony and I’m looking so forward to that day. It feels like everyone is taking a tiny bit of our burden and placing it on their own shoulders lessening ours and allowing us to make it through yet another day. God’s children doing God’s business…the way it was meant to be.

Today Allison had the Neulasta shot…in her stomach (yes, in her stomach). “Oh it wasn’t that bad”, she tells me! I had no idea 21 years ago that I was marrying SuperWoman. Now we wait…we wait to see if the dreaded side effects that this shot is legendary for actually develop or not. We’ve taken every precaution that they have recommended, now we just wait.

Tonight she's tired, the steroids don't let her rest well so the sleep she so desperately seeks avoids her again. Tonight sounds like a "whole Lorazepam night" (instead of a "half")! Father, let her sleep tonight, let SuperWoman rest and thank you for our faithful family and friends, I'm overwhelmed, we're blessed and Father, to You I give all glory.

1 comment:

Mary Eva said...

Allison is ever in our prayers and conversation, especially this week for Tues Treatment #2 and Wed Neulasta day. As I thank God for guiding you both safely (spiritually and emotionally) through these two days, I think of the hymn that has been my friend at hard moments, "He Giveth More Grace".

He gives more grace as our burdens grow greater,
He sends more strength as our labors increase;
To added afflictions He adds His mercy,
To multiplied trials He multiplies peace.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father’s full giving is only begun.

Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,
Our God ever yearns His resources to share;
Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;
The Father both you and your load will upbear.

CHORUS
His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.