"Don't Know Yet" news...

We had our 3:20pm follow-up appointment with Dr. Blouin today. She was supposed to look at her "handiwork" and remove the stitches. We also are waiting on 2 test results to come back so we were hoping to hear about that today also. I don't know why but both of us have been so nervous about both of these tests. I know we should have been nervous about all the other times but we really haven't. But these results could change our lives forever. One was the pathology test from the surgery, bad news here and we're looking at more surgery, next time would likely be a full blown mastectomy. The other test helps determine whether or not Allison would benefit from chemotherapy....a high score and she's pretty much guaranteed chemo, so we pray its low.

Dr. Blouin comes in and immediately relieves our stress a little..."we got it all! Pathology reports are clear, you don't have to see me again for 4-6 months." PRAISE THE LORD! There He goes again...."showing off"! She says she should have the results from the other test and that her assistant is looking for them. Right on cue her assistant knocks and comes in with the results. For what seems like 30 minutes we all hold our breath. Lord, seriously, would you show off twice in 2 minutes??? "Well, shoot, you don't make anything easy do you?", she says to Allison. Then she tells us that Allison's score is right in the center. Dang it. Low, no chemo, high, you get it....but center, what does that mean? "It means the oncologists are going to have to fight this one out", she says. She says she honestly doesn't know what Dr. Christman (our medical oncologist) will recommend in this situation. We will just need to make an appointment with her and see. Allison is visibly upset. Yes, its fantastic news that they got it all and that no further surgery is needed. She's very thankful for that. But at the same time her fear of chemo isn't squashed like she had hoped it might be.

She leads us to the "appointment lady" who attempts to make the appointment with Dr. Christman's office but they tell her they will have to call back. So we don't have a date yet, we hope to get that tomorrow.

Allison doesn't talk much on the way home. The thought of chemo is really bothering her. She knows she needs to face the possibility...that WE need to face the possibility but every time we think about it, its like a dream...or more like a nightmare.

Father, thank you so very much for the wonderful news we received today, thank you for hearing our prayers and for hearing the prayers of so many of our faithful family and friends. Now Father, give Allison comfort knowing that you are still holding her and that your plan is not to harm her but to help her. And Father let her know that she's not alone in this...she has me, she has her family and friends and that Father, most of all, she has You. You Lord are the Creator and Sustainer of life. You knew about this day, this disease, this trial...before she was ever born. You are still in control and we trust you to take us this next step. Yes we pray that chemo isn't needed and that You'll soon "show off" but Father not necessarily our will but Your Will be done. Its in Jesus' name....amen.